The most crucial thing
by hopelessromantic24
Summary: Why was everything so crucial when you are falling in love? A sequel to  Without You. Ron's POV, DH spoilers.. Review Please!  better than summary... thanks!


discaimer: i do not own anything HP

thnx for the people who reviewed on my previous fics!

dis is about Ron's POV, when he got back!

enjoy!

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**The most crucial thing**

Ron sat up on his bunk, feeling pretty irritated for the lack of interest in sleeping. He looked around the tent and saw Hermione sleeping silently on her bunk and Harry who was keeping his watch near the opening of the tent. He walked silently towards his sleepy best friend.

"Getting sleepy, mate?" He asked to Harry, who yawned widely. He sat down beside him and looked up at the frozen sky.

"Yeah, a bit," Harry said stretching his skinny arms to prevent it from numbing because of the cold air.

"Would you like to sleep? Then I'll just do the rest of your watch,"

"Thanks, Ron. But I'm fine here,"

Ron raised his eyebrows, "I think you deserve a good night sleep then, after that locket almost strangle you to death," Harry was about to retort when he cut across him, "Don't worry, I'm fine and I'm not sleepy. Go on,"

Harry smiled and said, "Thanks mate, Good night," He patted Ron on the back and climbed on his bunk.

_Alone again_, he thought. He picked up a stick and tried to doodle on the snow near the tent's entrance. He felt very happy that he was back again to his friends. But he wasn't too glad of Hermione's welcome: punches, accusation, bellowing. He couldn't ask for more, time will pass and they can talk to each other normally again. He was not expecting for her anger to fade away by tomorrow, but for now, he was contented of her dirty looks and scowls, it could make his day, as long as they are near each other, as long as he was sure she was safe with him.

He decided to tweak the wooden wireless he brought from Shell cottage. He found his rucksack and tried to search the wooden wireless with all his might, without waking up his friends.

"Ha!" He found the wooden wireless at the bottom of his rucksack, hidden beneath his maroon socks. He placed it near his bunk and he was trying so hard getting Lee's radio station. Bur before that, he tried to cast muffliato charms to Harry and Hermione, to make sure they don't get disturbed off their sleep.

He found some lines of Celestina Warbeck's _A cauldron full of hot, strong love_, which reminded him of his parents, of the burrow. He heard news about the Undesirable Number One, which is Harry of course. He tried to listen to the program; it said that a wizard sighted Harry at a market, buying bottles of firewhisky. Ron laughed at the news, why would Harry buy bottles of firewhisky when he was on the run? Besides, the true Harry was snoring softly inside a tent in the Forest of Dean. He gave the wooden wireless another clumsy tap. He was now listening on an advertisement about _The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, By Rita Skeeter_. _Oh that little wart_, he thought. He remembered when Rita tried to make an article about Hermione, on how she stole prominent people. Hermione didn't steal prominent people, she was not even interested on them… or did she?

"Merlin, keep your head straight!" He told himself as he gave the wooden wireless a tap. He was now listening to a love song. He didn't know who sang that song, but its lyrics were related to him, after all.

_Swaying like leaves, _

_Running like thieves,_

_My heart was skipping beats,_

_My mind was fading with you_

_The sun was setting, _

_And I'll stop pretending_

_That you're just something_

_To lean on,_

_And now I wonder, _

_If I'll be a goner_

_If I don't say these words to you…_

_I love you more than everything I have,_

_I don't why I'm saying this, (but I just did)_

_I know we're just friends_

_But I hoping more than that_

_It's like a spell work that affect me so much,_

_I just woke up and I knew I love you so much,_

_I don't know what to do,_

_But I can't stop loving you._

Ron was crying and he didn't know why. For just a song, he was crying? Is it because it was so related to him now? Yes, it was. He wanted to say to her a million times, maybe more than that, that he loves her. Yes, he really did. But, did she realize it just yet?

He turned the wooden wireless off. He curled up on his spot, thinking of things he was thinking, anyway. He was really anxious of what she really feels. _I love her as a sister and I reckon she feels the same way too…_ was that really true? He believed at Harry. He likes Ginny anyway, by the looks of it, but what about Hermione? Did she love him?

Back at their fourth year, a famous Quidditch player walked in their lives. He once idolized him, almost worshipped him. All of those things fade away when he saw Hermione having the time of her life with Viktor Krum at the Yule Ball. At the same instance he shouted at her, saying foolish reasons that has gaping holes, and wasn't that concrete. _Fraternizing with the enemy, giving Krum inside information about Harry_ are some of the stupid reasons he demanded to her. After all, those were weak words to reason out. Hermione was not that stupid to meet Krum and blabbed out all about Harry's tactics about the tournament. He was not good in hiding his reasons, really. Hermione figured them easily.

What he had done when he was in their sixth year was the most stupid of all. The year went off in a good start. She just asked him to go to a party, wasn't that great? Again, he was overcome by his jealousy, foolish jealousy. Ginny said Hermione snogged Krum, and he was the only one to think snogging was illegal. She challenged him, he took it. It was a matter of time that he was snogging someone, in public. He thought he overdid it, actually. He was kissing someone he didn't really love after all. And many nights he doubted whether the reason he did it was because of what Ginny said, that he was the only one that hasn't kiss someone. He was clearly doing it for Hermione had hurt him so badly. Times had passed and clearly, he can't stay doing this for so long. He had just realized that his reason were far too lousy. He was trying everything for Lavender to surrender their superstition relationship, but she was holding on tightly. Every moment with her seems like hell. Her embraces were kind of strangling him. Hermione and he was in good terms again, and there was no reason to continue his relationship to someone he didn't really like. Then that night came, and they split up. All seems to be well again. Ron was happy again.

_She really liked me after all_? He asked to himself. All seems quite doubtful, is it because of the locket's effect to him? He remembered when she was running after him in a stormy night, when he and Harry had a nasty fight. Her cries and pleads were like sharp and cunning swords that were piercing him. Again, his jealousy surfaced in. He didn't know what to do, why was everything so crucial when you are falling in love with someone? Why everything you heard was doubtful? Why did everything I see was blurred, except her? Why was the world so mean to you? Why were all of you're doing were so complicated? Why do you have to make worst decisions? Why was making a mistake now was different from the mistakes you had done before? Someone tell me why? Why do we have to be hurt when falling in love?

Ron can't help himself but to cry, these questions were not yet answered. His mind was so preoccupied that even a single spell can't register in his mind.

" Effing love. Why do I have to feel so----"

He paused. He heard Hermione muttering in her sleep, she sounded pleading, or even crying. He went near her; she was sweating a lot in spite of the weather condition. She was dreaming.

"Don't go, please stay here, we need you, I need you….Ron…" She mumbled. Then strangely she smiled in her sleep. He doubted whether in her dream she turned back to them. He tried to plant a kiss on her forehead as he leaned closer. She made a sudden movement and he backed away.

Smiling, he tiptoed back on the tent's entrance and picked again the stick he was holding a while ago. He tried to write something on the thick snow, he was crying. He had written the most wonderful word that was etched on his heart for ages: Hermione.


End file.
